Just for laught...

• What is the similarity between PlayStations and a woman's breasts?
  Both are made for children but used by adults.
• A mother cleaning her son's room finds an S&M magazine under the bed. Upset, she immediately shows the magazine to her husband. "Well?" his wife asks. "What do you think we should do?""I'm not sure," the father replies. "But we certainly shouldn't spank him."
• A turkey is chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighs the turkey, "but I just haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replies the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecks at a lump of dung and finds that it actually gives him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reaches the second branch. Finally after a week, there he is proudly perched at the top of the tree. Unfortunately he is spotted by a farmer, who shoots him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
• One night, a man rolls over in bed and gives his wife a big, knowing grin. Immediately realising his intentions she says, "Not tonight darling. I have an appointment with the gynaecologist tomorrow morning and I want to stay fresh and clean."Dejected and disappointed, the man rolls over and tries to get to sleep. A few minutes later he rolls over and prods his wife again."Tell me, do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"