Joke for laught

• Recently a man from Richmond had to go to hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis. According to the man, his girlfriend had found the ring in his trousers and became so furious that she stuck it on him while he was asleep. So which is worse? Having your girlfriend find out you are maaried? Explaining to your wife how your weddin ring got on your penis? OR finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring?
• WIFE "What are u you lookin for? You've been reading our maggiage certificate for an hour."
  Husband " I was just looking for the expiry date."
• The lord of the manor returns from his grouse hunt far earlier than expected. He enters the master bedroom to find her ladyship making love to his old friend Sir Reginald Carpley. The irate load berates his wife for her infidelity. He reminds her that he took her from a miserable existence on a local farm, gave her a fine home, servants, expensive clothes and jewels. By this time the woman is crying inconsolably. His lordship then turns his wrath on his supposed friend: " And as for you, Reggie, you might at least have the decency to stop while I'm talking."